How To Use Body Language to Create Rapport Through Nonverbal Pacing and Leading

Body language! We are experts at it and don't even know it!

You send nonverbal messages with non-verbal language all the time. You create rapport not only with speech, but with the nonverbal signals you send others.

The classic nonverbal pattern for "I'm listening with a closed mind" is the person standing with his arms across his chest.

Do you consciously notice a person's body language when he is talking with you?

Most of us don't.

It's only when you are trained and consciously looking for body language patterns that you notice someone else's non-verbal communication patterns.

What if he was listening with arms open, hand at hip, or palms out? Would you feel more comfortable with his attitude?

Many of the messages you send another person are unconscious and outside of your conscious awareness.

How do you create rapport with another person?

Try practicing these non-verbal patterns.

When you are communicating with another person, you can select those that are outside the other person's awareness and begin to mirror, or imitate, those actions.

Some of the actions that you can mirror are eyeblinks, breathing, speed of talking, arm positions, leg positions, eye focus or defocus.

When you begin to mirror someone, you don't want it to be obvious. As you begin to mirror, your partner will either become aware of his actions, or will become more unaware of his responses.

When he becomes more unaware and makes more unconscious actions, you can match what he is doing or pace him, then lead him by creating another action that he will follow and mirror.

This can set up a condition known as rapport, when the other person will be in tune with what you are saying, both consciously and subconsciously.

This is a powerful technique for influencing when used along with communicating in the other person's representational system.

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